I’m struggling today trying to write something that flows. I’ve started to write, then changed my mind three times now. I think I am over thinking and trying too hard (something Allan will definitely argue!).
So, today I am going to use the random scribblings that I have written, because some of them are quite amusing.
Lily likes to go into our bedroom and ‘play’. She will call it playing, I will call it touching stuff that doesn’t belong to her. She once got hold of a library book and ripped out two pages. Luckily, when it was returned the nice lady looked at Lily’s cutsie little face and let us off! Always take the offender with you, just in case you get fined. Pinch or kick the offender to make them cry, then hey presto, no fine! We didn’t do that of course… no really, it was a joke. Anyway, I’m wandering.
Recently Lily was in our room, and it it was quiet, so I called up to see what she was doing. Silence. I called again, my foot now on the bottom step. Lily replied, “I can’t tell you mummy. It’s none of your business”. Hmmm, let’s think about that one for a second or two. She had my make up out and was dolling herself up, for goodness knows who. Dark streaks and colourful patches covered her face. She smiled beautifully. I’m not a big make up wearer. Usually I slap it on after looking in the mirror and recoil in horror. The previous night’s sleep obviously fraught with terror from the idea of another day wrangling with the toddler tyrant. Lily has improvised too with the make up tools. One time she came downstairs, pulled up her chair to the drawer in the kitchen and pulled out the pastry brush! Genius. It could have been worse. She might have gone in to the shed and pulled out the trowel. I think I might have been offended.
We were walking up on the local hills last week, when Lily saw a post sticking up from the ground. “Look at that stalk, daddy”.
We have fish, in a tank. Lily was watching them intently one day. Their poo trailing behind them, long and threadlike . It turns my stomach! Especially when one of the other fish stupidly mistakes it for dinner. Baulk. She watched them for a moment then asked if the fish did their wees and poos on the potty. I explained, as you do, the bowel habits of fish, and that they do them in the water, and they float to the bottom of the tank. Baulk. She pondered for another moment then said, ” When they grow up, will they poo and wee in the big toilet”?
I made a birthday cake last week. I was busy decorating it and Lily was asking, begging, demanding for something to eat….well cake actually. I kept reminding her that the cake wasn’t for us, and that it was for her older sister Collette, who doesn’t live with us. So, no I was not going to cut it in half (smart arse) for us all to share. We had this for about 15 minutes, then I lost my patience a little (a lot-ish), I started to waffle on a bit, due to being brow beaten brutally by Lily. She turned to me, pointed that jabby finger and said, “Aw mummy, you go on and on and on”! All I could hear was tittering from Lily’s other sister Ellen (AKA Bob!). Of course, I laughed. It was the first time she had said it, and was very amusing. Ellen (AKA Bob) got her name last week due to Lily forgetting her name, and Bob was produced from thin air, as a joke. It stuck. So Ellen, you will for evermore be Bob!
We had a naughty half hour around teatime last week. I say we, I mean Lily. I can, sometimes control my tantrums. She was being mean to the cat, throwing things, chewing on her alphabet cards, being cheeky and shouting. I took away all of her toys, put her on the naughty step, explaining the reasons why she was there. She continued to shout in my face. I could feel the G force effect making my face ripple with each spit fuelled scream! I told her to sit down, be quiet, and I would return in two minutes. I never leave it the full two minutes, it seems so long! Lily had sat there for around a minute, begging to be allowed from the step. I returned, and she apologised, as she always does, gave me a kiss, then on asking her to be good in future she said, ” I’m trying to mummy. I just can’t” I suppose her honesty is commendable.
Today she said, “I could stay up all night, mummy and daddy”.
“Really”, I said.” What would you get up to all night”?
Her answer was, “Mischief mummy”