I do, I don’t, I will, I won’t!!!

The rules for owning a toddler should be clear and concise….FACT!
How the heck are we supposed to get it right when the rules are all over the place. Toddlers should help us out a little here, as being parents it’s difficult enough knowing where that definitive fine line lies between knowing what they want (what they really, really want…..zig a zig ahhh!!)and do not want. I’ve spent hours each day being toyed with like a bird at the mercy of a tormenting kitty. “Mummy, I want a cup of tea”. “ok, darling mummy will get you a cup of tea”. On producing said cup of tea (well coloured milk at best), I’m met with shrieks of “NO, I want a cup of juice”! It’s the same with food, toys, books, needing the loo and indeed cuddles and kisses. What do they want???? Is it a cheese or the tuna sandwich, is it the bricks or dolls pram, is it to cuddle or not to cuddle.
Lily has now decided that flashing is thing to do. Trousers, tights, pj’s and knickers dropped in an instant and a bottom is pointed in your direction for your perusal! Charming. If that doesn’t get the reaction she requires then you will be subjected to the ‘foo foo’ flash too. I am thankful that for now at least, she flashes family members only!
This week has shown us Lily’s aggressive side. We visited a local wildlife centre with aunty Rita and Uncle Martin. Along with the usual I do, I don’t, I will and I won’t routine, she uncharacteristically shoved an older boy from a play area when he tried to get past her to climb up to the slide! I was mortified. My child a bully, a thug, a beater up of big boys! Being the wise big boy that he was, he didn’t react to this outburst (good training for when he’s a man) and just stepped aside whilst lily ranted in toddler rage, pointing her favourite ‘cross’ finger in his direction. Oh, the shame. Needless to say, she was removed from the area and after refusing to apologise to the innocent party, wasn’t allowed in again. The poor boys parents asked me if their son was the perpetrator…. Gulp, no, it was my 2 year old beating up your innocent 7 year old child. Apologies ensued.
I wonder if there is toddler version of a ‘Pub Watch’ scheme in place? Wildlife parks and play centres across the country, showing, naming and shaming them, and refusing entrance to the ASBO little terrors!!
On an upbeat note, Lily has slept through two nights in a row. She still wails uncontrollably at bedtime, but two nights… happy, happy mummy and daddy!
Hang on, I must go as Lily wants a drink of juice… or will it be tea… or water….or……..!!!?

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