Stop talking, I’m cross with you!

These past couple of weeks has seen Lily flourish in the art of being cross, angry and downright annoyed! This has come along with an increased vocabulary. I’m sure she goes to bed with a dictionary and thesaurus to gen up on her speech and learn how to use phrases to woo and astound us. Equally her phrases makes us frown in despair or feign disappointment. Even in sheer exasperation I find her totally amusing at times.
As parents we never fail to make Lily cross, to the point where she screams and shouts, pulls at her cheeks in all their elasticated glory, to exacerbate her crossness and frustration at our stupidity, and lack of compassion for any of her given plights! I am thrown phrases like, “Stop talking, I’m cross with you”!, “Stop talking, I don’t want to hear you”! (Anyone bright enough will know all of these things are firstly coming from me for her to learn! I would love to know how to deliver them like she does though…. so much venom being spat out of her little cute mouth!). She has an amazing ability to turn my sour, miserable fed up face to one that is happy and forgiving just by one little phrase….”Happy mummy, happy…go on, go on, go on”! She will repeat as often as it is necessary to get the desired results. I often have images running through my mind of Mrs Doyle from Father Ted, which makes me chuckle.
We had a birthday party this week, which was enjoyed by us all. Lily was fortunate enough to have been given a goody bag as we were leaving. Inside the bag along with some pretty jewellery was a choice of sweets. She sucked and slurped on a few before giving me a packet to open, of which I described to Allan as ‘an infected nipple’. I thought I had said it quietly enough, he hem, no, I did not! “Mummy I want my infected nibble back please”! I find myself having more near miss Nana moments daily from laughing so much.
We were fortunate to have been spoiled by daddy over the weekend with promises of bacon sandwiches and cups of tea. Not one to miss a trick, Lily thought it an appropriate weekend treat to demand that he fetch her ‘sammidge’ upstairs so she could have it in bed! It was one request that was swiftly denied, followed by sighing and huffing as she shuffled her lazy bones downstairs.
Meanwhile, Kitty was duly doing his ablutions, sat legs akimbo on the landing like some cheap backstreet moggy, slurping for all it’s worth, cleaning his private ‘areas’! Lily heard him performing this ritual, laid down beside him and said, “Kitty stop licking, it’s making too much noise”. He barely gave her a second glance, and carried on with his task, much to Lily’s annoyance, who clearly was not going to give up until he stopped. Finally he got a swift kick up his rear which sent him running for peace and quiet. Triumphantly, Lily strolled off, happy that she finally got him to stop slurping! He has barely raised a whisker whenever she has pestered him, since she has learned to move independently. This week has seen two occasions where he has had a swipe at her, just enough to warn her off, but enough so that she has wailed in fright. The last one saw Lily running away with the Kitty hanging off her sleeve, claws fully entangled, and him swaying like some over sized charm on a bracelet!! Needless to say, that day they were both really not impressed.
Also this week, we have been told that Daddy is bonkers (we knew this already, but went along with this astounding eureka moment she had, as it made her feel as if she had made a fantastic discovery). Trumping is not an intentional occurrence, but indeed an ‘accigent’, unless it is you that is the offender, for which you are duly thrown the ‘you stink’ look, and her arm is thrown across her face to protect from the incoming smell! My favourite Lily discovery is not to everyone’s taste, for which I apologise now. She has found that by picking her nose, she can find an array of varying types of bogey, for which she shares. We have had wet ones, green ones, sticky ones, and my all time favourite… the crunchy one! I have to say at this point, all of her findings are only at the sight test stage…..
I love you pumpkin pie xx

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