“Count to three mummy, go on, go on”!

“Nod your head mummy… go on…. chop it up”! These were the words she said to me the other day while we were strutting our stuff to the music on the radio. “Chop it up”? I’ve not heard this one before, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a dance craze that is sweeping the nation. I do my utmost to ‘chop it up’ alongside Lily, who really has it conquered. That girl can move! Badly, but she can move, nonetheless. 

Anyone with a toddler will relate to the fact that they have to have the last word, no matter what the consequences will be that follow. Threats of the naughty step, withdrawal of privileges and no more treats, will all be met with a scoff of disbelief and retorts of your stupidity. I have had moments recently where my patience has been tested to the very max. I’m not sure why she sees fit to push me as far as she is able, only to be the one who is rolling on the floor, crying and flaying her limbs in a tantrum. What pleasure does she get from this display? It reminds me of birds of paradise strutting around, fanning their wondrous display of plumage and cawing intently, trying desperately to win a mate. It’s just a pity that Lily’s display has the opposite effect on me! One of these ‘displays’ happened upstairs. Before it got to the throwing herself down stage, I left. I trotted off down the stairs intending to ignore her rantings. She came to the top of the stairs quite calmly and announced, “Mummy, I’m going to start whining now”! Of course she never started to whine, as I began to laugh which in turn made her laugh too. The pre warning was appreciated mind you. 

Similarly, one day as I was trying to gain her attention to get her dressed, she refused point blank to do as I asked. She must have heard me sighing and muttering under my breath as I became more impatient. Just to help the process along a little she shouted from across the room, “Mummy, count to three, go on, count….. 1 2 3”! I suppose this threat might just be redundant now! 

Poor teddy had the misfortune of getting on her nerves too. After giving him a good ticking off she sighed very loudly and flounced off shouting, “I’m going outside teddy, to have a cigarette”! Now at this point I have to say that we do not encourage Lily to use smoking as her means to shirk off some angst. Allan does smoke, but as far as I’m aware has never stated having one for therapeutic use. It is a habit which I do not have myself and emphatically discourage!

Other than her desire for a smoke, Lily seems to have found a different release from her angst! I was writing my last blog entry, sat on the sofa whilst Lily was watching Cbeebies. I was aware of some sensation around my ankles. Looking down I saw Lily laid on her tummy, tongue out and licking my ankle. Do you remember the Wall’s ice cream shaped lolly called Funny Feet?(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_77GIW_q6U). This is what it reminded me of. I wonder if they still make them?

Lily does not always display bad behaviour. She is on the whole a very pleasant and charming little girl. She likes to share things like, food, drink, kisses and cuddles. Allan had the fortune to have been the receiver of such a kind act. Lily had a drink in her cup, which she transferred some of for him in to a cup from her tea set. He downed it in one saying how delicious it was. Now he had not seen how Lily had put it in to the cup previously, so when she asked if he would like another, he replied happily, “Oh yes please”! Turning to her cup, she drank in a mouthful then proceeded to spit it in to the cup he had drank from before. Needless to say, he politely refused his second helping of juice, almost gagging at the thought of what he had just greedily knocked back in one! I always say…source your products first. 

Any self respecting toddler will, on picking their nose, gaze at it for a moment or two, then pop it quite confidently in to their mouth! Lily does gaze at them in wonderment, but is a wiper, not an eater. She will spend endless moments with one sat on the end of her finger, turning it one way then another, before poking it in your face and asking for a tissue. They don’t always end up in a tissue though. Sometimes I catch her wiping them on the floor, the furniture, cuffing them and leaving snail trails along her sleeves, and even the cat is not safe. His back makes for a brilliant head to toe runway for her finger! I think I feel at this point ,that I prefer her to eat them. Just saying……

The final word goes to Lily.

“I’m not kicking you daddy, I’m stroking you with my feet”!








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