Granddad you’re a bugger!

Last week we were all visiting the relatives over in Wiltshire and Bristol.

Lily’s niece (my granddaughter) turned one, and we combined the trip over for the party with a visit to my sister and her hubby. On the way there we had the usual, are we there yet, are we nearly there yet routine, that seems to go with having kids. I wouldn’t mind but we were barely out of the village before the first one was uttered!

As per every trip in the car, Lily fell asleep. This was good for us as the journey was around two hours, and having Lily’s incessant chattering may have led me to hurtling myself from the speeding car, in to the path of the traffic on the M1! It also meant we didn’t have to make three or four pee stops en route.

We had some moments during our visit that I will share today, that made us smile, laugh out loud and on occasion, grimace in shame.

My sister bought a game for Lily called Monkey Madness. The idea of the game is to hang your monkeys from the tree (which is magnetised to hanging palm leaves). The first one to hang all the monkeys without making the palm leaves fall, is the winner, which is done by throwing a dice to determine whether you add or take off monkeys as you go. Lily, her granddad and me were all playing, when Lily says that she doesn’t want to win. In fact all she kept saying is that she wanted to be the loser! Granddad was chortling to himself at Lily’s ambitious aspirations. She kept dropping the dice instead of rolling it, making sure that the dice landed on a minus sign, so she didn’t win! She also dropped the dice a few times to ensure she scored the number that she chose. You’ve never seen such pouting, especially when she couldn’t get the numbers to roll to her liking.

We were sat around one day and Lily was working as a shop keeper, with us being her customers, with tins and packets from my sister’s cupboard. Afterwards her granddad asked her if she had had a nice day at work, to which she replied, “But, I’m not a boy”! Suffice to say, I was a little disgruntled at the fact that she sees my role as a stay at home parent as non working, and that it is only the menfolk of the family that trot off for their 9 – 5 toil in the ‘workplace’! I think she needs to be reminded of the commitment I put in to loafing around all day!!!

i was teaching Lily to forward roll one afternoon. She pretty much picked it up quite quickly after seeing how agile and supple my sister was! She showed Lily ‘how to do it’, and we very nearly ended up scurrying off to the local emergency room to get her neck sorted out! I think forward rolling might be off the to do list for my sister now, after nearly breaking her neck. Lily was assisted by me with a gentle hand on her behind, to give her a little push to help her over. Lily decided that she could now do this by herself, so bent over, put her head on the floor and proceeded to put her own hand on her bottom to give herself a little push to help herself over. It was quite comical watching her, as she tilted over sideways, then declaring, “I did it mummy”! She had a few more attempts before mastering the forward roll, without the helping hand of course.

Lily and I went shopping with granddad to buy the rest of the makings for the birthday cake I was making for my granddaughter. On the way back Lily began to behave silly. She was calling me a pudding head over and over, then she turned to her granddad and called him the same. We were smiling (as you do) at how funny and cute she was. Then out of the blue she changed tact, and said to her granddad, “Granddad, you’re are bugger”! My dad and I looked sideways at each other, smirking and trying not to laugh. Of course Lily picked up on this, and it was her cue to repeat it several times, followed by guffaws of laughter. We decided it might just be better to ignore her, given that encouragement will only lead to more bugger outbursts. I obviously don’t want her smiling sweetly at the neighbours then announcing to them that they are indeed buggers too! I’m not sure how my standing as a good neighbour will hold up to such insulting comments. We tried pointing to the woods sitting up on the hill, saying things like, “Look there’s a forest. I wonder if there are monkeys living up there”? We need not have bothered because the phrase was embedded now. She has blurted out the word several times since then, but by in large we have ignored it. Hopefully the novelty will wear off. Oh, and yes, for those who are saying that she must have heard it from someone. That someone is me! I’m prone (almost in oblivion) to saying bugger in times of frustration.

Lily has discovered that she likes bananas and yoghurts now (she’s normally only partial to a fromage frais). She tried these while we were away and declared that she did like them after all. Flipping heck. Kids! When we arrived back home and went shopping, I bought some bananas and yoghurts, hoping that I wasn’t met with the obvious comment of, “I only like auntie Lindsey’s bananas/yoghurts”! Luckily she likes ‘ours’ too, and I have never seen a banana get devoured so damn quickly either.

She’s started to use food as a pacifier too (hmm, like her mummy – a comfort eater). Sometimes she gets sad, unhappy or even cross. To soothe herself back to her happy place she will ask for something to make her happy again. When I ask her what she needs to make her happy, she will ask for food. Usually it is only some grapes or a yoghurt, but I’m sure she is waiting for the appropriate time to slip in a request for a bag of chocolate buttons. As I write this, she is munching on a banana, as she had made herself cross, and decided that it was the thing to make her happy again.

I’ve just come come back to this after writing a couple more paragraphs as Lily is pounding the chair screaming at the top of her voice that she is still very cross, and needs a yoghurt to make her happy again! “I need a yoghurt to make me happpppyy mummmmy”! So, now I’m being told that she is so sad, as I have just told her off! Drama? What drama!

I was putting Lily to bed one night, and after the teeth cleaning and going for a wee had been done, I read her a bedtime story. It only took all of five minutes (no time for her empty bladder to fill up again, I’m sure) before she shouted after me as I was leaving, that she needed another wee. We all know that she was only stalling going to bed, but I humoured her, but not before telling her that she really did not need to go to the toilet, and this was the last time (yeah right). She looked at me and said in a disgruntled tone, “You said that if I need a wee, I have to go for a wee”! Well, yes, smart arse I know I did, but….. oh crap never mind!

We finished our trip over to the West country by going to visit my son and his family for my granddaughters first birthday. A couple of days previously I was making the cake, and Lily was helping by eating the icing and left over pieces of sponge that were discarded! (later to be used in a trifle). Thankfully she wasn’t sick!

The birthday girl as usual was adorable and Lily had a great time playing and helping herself to the food .

Here is the cake that Lily helped with, and couldn’t wait to have a slice of!



6 thoughts on “Granddad you’re a bugger!

    • Thanks for your comments 🙂
      Lily certainly gives me plenty to write about, and she is the funniest little thing!
      Oh, the cake… just a little something I rustled up 😉 Ha, it took hours to do, but I was pleased with it.

  1. LagosMum says:

    So funny! Re: parental roles – When V wears my shoes he says, ‘bye mama! I’m going shopping!’ When he puts on LagosDad’s shoes, he says, ‘Bye mama! I’m going to the office!’ They know everything, don’t they? Amazing cake, btw! x

  2. Love the image of Lily’s hand on her rump as she set up her forward roll. Too precious! As for bugger, considering the words that would come out of my mouth when my daughter was at the impressionable age, I wouldn’t have minded that one. (The again, our side of the pond doesn’t share the same meaning as yours.)

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