Three year olds do that, mummy!

I’m taking my opportunity to sit here for a while and compose another post for the blog.

I do find it difficult at times to manage to sit still long enough to be able to concentrate, without some distraction. It might be Lily, who constantly demands my time, maybe some housework or just sitting at my laptop waiting for Candy Crush to be generous enough to let me through to the next level! Whatever my excuse, it isn’t for lack of amusing things to write about Lily. She is a constant source of laughter and fun.

Take the time when she wanted to have some of Allan’s drink at the table one dinner time. Allan was in the kitchen doing the dishes, and I said to Lily that yes she could have a little drink from his glass. Tittering behind her hand she agreed to keep it a secret from daddy. I quietly tipped him off and he went through to the dining room and feigned shock at some of his drink being missing. He asked Lily if she had drunk some, but she emphatically denied it. Are you sure you didn’t have some, he asked her. Again she said no. He asked her who did, and she brazenly pointed to me, declaring that indeed mummy had had it! As quick as you like and not going to my plan, Allan very sternly sent me to the naughty step. I thought this unwarranted punishment would be enough for her to confess all to Allan, but no! I was then compelled to show bereft emotion, and thought this would be enough for her to tell her daddy that it was not me. No! Lily did try to come over to me, to give me a half hearted, you take it for the team cuddle , but she was told by Allan that being on the naughty step meant you got no cuddles. Anyway the questioning got nowhere and I was still ‘upset’ on the stairs, when Allan asked me directly who took his drink. I pointed my finger accusingly at the little minx and said, “She did”! Ha I fear no one. Allan very quickly let me off from the naughty step, and told Lily that she now must go to there instead, to which she scoffed, ” I’m not going on there”! Then she flounced off very proud in the fact that she got away with it. At no time was she remotely bothered by A: me being on the step or B: being found out as the guilty party.

We were up at a really silly time one morning, 5 am I think it was. Lily was full of beans and wanted to go through one of her books looking for the hidden objects in there. I wasn’t too keen as I was still feeling tired, and quite frankly just wanted to go back to bed. Lily was insistent that I help her find the hidden objects so turned to using cunning tactics. She piped up with, “If you do this with me, it will help you get slim”. I’m currently trying to lose weight, so I was very intrigued all of a sudden. Who wouldn’t want listen to such an amazing solution to weight loss? I asked her if she was sure it would help me to get slimmer, and she said yes it would. As I was still pondering over this amazing revelation, she must have lost a little patience with me, because she then said to me in an impatient tone, “Well, do you want to get slim or not”? I tell you, I have never been so eager to find so many hidden objects ever before. I can’t wait to see what the scales say next week!

We have a cat. A particularly grumpy, don’t pester me type of cat. He’s pretty much ok if you leave him to make his own mind up, as to whether he wants to give you some attention, or indeed take some affection from you. Lily is not one of his favourite  people, unless she is armed with a titbit or two, then it’s cupboard love all round. One day, pretty much the same as every day, Lily was trying to pester love the cat, by picking him up for a cuddle. I told her not to do it because he didn’t like to be picked up. She argued until I sighed and told her that if he bit or scratched her, then I would not be giving her a cuddle because he had hurt her. I explained that it would serve her right if he bit or scratched her, so no sympathy would come her way. She looked at me, put her hands out and flapped them around a little, then said, “But mummy that’s what 3 year old’s do”! Well you can’t argue with that one can you? This has been her argument several times. It was quite amusing at first. 

Allan was sitting teaching Lily from her phonics book. She was getting along really well until she got to U. When they got to U, it read, Unwin has a unicorn in his ?, and you fill in the word. The word should have been underpants. Now I know what you are thinking, and I’ve had mental images of Unwin with a unicorn down his underpants too! Any way, before this gets pornographic, Lily did not say underpants, she said, “Unwin has a unicorn down his knicks”! Well said kiddo.

Before I leave you,I have to share the best laugh I have had in ages.

Lily said to me the other day.

“Don’t tell daddy he’s ugly”

“Why”? I asked

“Because you’ll ruin the surprise”! 

Oh my, if you could have heard me roar. I nearly peed my knicks. 

I somehow don’t think it would come as too much of a shock for Allan.

Love you Allan.

Lily I love you too, but you’ll be the death of me from laughing so hard.





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